Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
