i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
