I like to think it a success when the cops are called
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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