but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
