I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
time to smoke my breakfast
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im part way to drunk.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
