okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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