Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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