brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
