the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
