remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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