I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
