he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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