He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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