There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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