he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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