last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
