Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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