not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
