I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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