dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
