Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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