You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
