im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
