I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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