Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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