we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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