Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
