This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
