Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
where are my eyebrows?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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