That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
