you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You pole danced in your parka.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
