Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
