and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
