Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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