Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
