It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
