Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
