I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
