We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
