He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Two words: nipple clamps
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