I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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