Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
