We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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