I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
