Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
