Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
