I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
