I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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