Will you blow on my dice?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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