i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
